I'm going to start posting different bible study lessons from time to time. This is from last week. Obviously, it's heavily abridged, but I figure most people prefer that anyways. ;-)


Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be,
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance,
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears,
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years,
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
-William Ernest Henley, 1849-1908

Titus 3:1-8

1Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, 2to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.
3At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. 4But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 6whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. 8This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.

-Consider the first worldview (Invictus). What kind of person do you think he is? Would you want to be like him in some ways? Do you tend to be like him in some ways?

-Consider the second worldview (Titus). What does this person look like? Why would the Scriptures say they’re profitable for everyone? Why do we tend not to be like this, even though God tells us to?

-When you compare the two, recognize that the key issue is that of control. Who is in control of your life? Are you like the first, in control no matter what, certain of yourself despite opposition, living with grim determination? Or are you like the second, depending on God’s love and grace, obeying him and the authorities, living with hope? The first has the person in control of their own life, the second gives control to God. Which will you do?

-Finally, consider this. Paul, Martin Luther, Jonothan Edwards, and Billy Graham all seek to have the second kind of worldview. Meanwhile, the poem Invictus was issued as the official last words of Timothy McVeigh: the Oklahoma City bomber. When God tells us what kind of worldview we ought to have… he has his reasons.


Oh, yeah... THIS is a surprise!

You are Cyclops!

You are attractive and strong, in a boy scout
republican sort of way. You are set firm in
your beliefs, which is not necessarily a bad
thing. But often when faced with a conflicting
opinion you become defensive and angry and
prone to conflict. You like to be a leader,
but you must acknowledge that there are some
situations which others are better fit to deal
with than yourself.

Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla
So, back to discourses from the monk!

To simplify things for me, I'm posting a sermon I preached (my first ever!) at my church this summer. Hope you enjoy! I won't be insulted if you get bored and don't finish.

What is it that always causes us to look at results? Why do we tend to care more about the tangible things that happen than about the thoughts and motivations that produced those things?

So often we think that the actions a person does are more important than where their heart was when they did it. Today, though, I’d like to look at a passage in James that suggests we should be looking at things the other way around.

James 3:13-4:3

The book of James was written by James the brother of Jesus, not the apostle. It was written for Jewish Christians who had been scattering because of persecution by Herod Agrippa. They believed in Christ, but were unsure as to how they ought to be living. To help this problem, James wrote the letter that bears his name. John MacArthur calls it, “a hands-on, practical manual of the Christian faith.”

Most commentaries agree that this section is part of a larger passage that James has written mostly for those who would teach, as the issues he outlines are especially relevant to them. However, I think you’ll find as we go through that this is something most of us can relate to, and most of us have a need for.

James begins by asking, “Who is wise and understanding among you?” Immediately you can see all the intellectuals and leaders in the church perk up. “I’m wise and understanding!” they say to themselves.

James then issues a challenge; “Let him show it by his good life.” This may seem a bit strange to some. “What do deeds have to do with wisdom?” they might say. However, they can handle it. “I lead a pretty good life. Who could argue with that? Doesn’t everyone see that I attend church regularly, that I lead a Sunday school class, and that I give 10% of my income every week?”

But then James adds one more component to his challenge. He suggests that a person’s good deeds must be done, “in the humility that comes from wisdom.” What does that mean? I’m humble, right? What’s the link between humility and wisdom?

To be certain that he has made the conditions for being the possessor of true wisdom clear, James tells us what the opposite of true wisdom is. Look at vs. 14. “But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.” So now, we find that it ISN’T our deeds or our knowledge that show whether we have wisdom… it’s the attitude of our hearts while we do things for God that shows our wisdom. Let’s look now at the two kinds of wisdom, and figure out how to get the kind of wisdom that James seems to find so important.

The first kind of wisdom that we’ll talk about comes from harboring, “bitter envy and selfish ambition in your heart.” Now, all of us should stop right there and consider that question. Am I doing that? James says that the two biggest things that result in right actions with the wrong motives are; wanting what someone else has and wanting to look good in the eyes of others.

How does that look in your life? Do you find yourself wanting to look good in front of other people, so you make sure you help serve the church or visibly do good things? Or do you wish that you could be like someone, or have the prestige and appreciation that they get? These are things to be very careful about, because James says they lead to having the wrong kind of wisdom, which I’ll call earthly wisdom.

In my own life, I need to be especially careful about this. It can be so easy for me to want to be like my dad, or like the leaders of campus organizations. “I could do that,” I say in my head. I also, as many of you know, like to have my own way. I’ve got very definite opinions about how things should be run, and have no problem being in charge so that I can be certain they’ll be done my way. If I want to glorify God in my life, I need to make sure those impulses don’t control me and direct my actions.

Continuing on, we read that earthly wisdom is, first of all, “not from heaven, but earthly, unspiritual, of the devil.” What does that mean? Does it mean that when we act out of ambition or jealousy, we can say, “The Devil made me do it!”? Certainly not! Rather, James would have us recognize here that earthly wisdom is something that comes not from God, but from ourselves. It is taking him off the throne of our lives, and putting ourselves in his place. Heaven does not look kindly upon those things that are done to make an individual look good in the eyes of others.

Further, because it is “earthly and unspiritual,” it is not something that will help us in our spiritual growth. Doing good things out of a desire to gain power or prestige here on earth will not help us grow, or help us know God better, or bring us any closer to righteousness. If we desire to glorify God, doing good acts to improve our station in life is not the way.

So what about the “results” of this kind of wisdom? At the very least, people with this kind of thinking ARE doing good things, right? Isn’t that important? Many feel as though they’re willing to deal with some inflated egos if it means the church will get a new air-conditioning system, or a better website, or more professional teaching. But setting aside what WE can see, let’s ask what results GOD sees when He looks at good acts done with the wrong motives.

Vs. 16 says, “For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.” Could it be any more clear? When God looks at acts done with the wrong motives, he doesn’t see a good act and a bad motive. He sees a breeding ground for sin, a situation that destroys instead of builds. He sees relationships being ripped apart because of evil desires. He sees disorder, and he hates it! Good things done with a selfish or jealous heart are ugly in his eyes!

Thankfully, this isn’t the only kind of wisdom. James speaks of a second kind of wisdom, a kind of wisdom that isn’t born of our sinful desires. Right away, he identifies it as “the wisdom that comes from Heaven” in vs. 17. It is a wisdom that is not of ourselves, but of God. WE CAN’T COME UP WITH THIS ON OUR OWN. Instead, we need to recognize that only God is the source of true wisdom.

What does this wisdom look like? James says in vs. 17 that it is pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial, and sincere. How’s that for a high calling? If we can get this wisdom from heaven, we will be the kind of people that BUILD relationships instead of tear them down. We’ll bring people together instead of separating them. We’ll lead lives that make Christianity and the church attractive… and bring glory to God!

Most importantly, leading our lives by heavenly wisdom instead of earthly wisdom will cultivate righteousness in those around us. Look at vs. 18. “Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.” I especially like the way the New American Standard Version puts it; “And the seed whose fruit is righteousness will be sown in peace by those who make peace.”

What is this telling us? It’s saying that heavenly wisdom fosters order in the church. This peace and order facilitates the growth of righteousness among the body of believers! James is saying here that YOU can help this church become more righteous and godly by leading your life and by relating to others with wisdom and humility, a wisdom and humility that comes not from your own earthly desires, but from God!

So, James has shown us a stark contrast. Earthly wisdom vs. Heavenly wisdom. Our way vs. God’s way. Sinful desires and disorder vs. peace and order. We have been presented with a very clear choice. The only question left is this: How do we GET the heavenly wisdom that James promotes?

James recognizes that this is the next step. He starts by reviewing the problem in chapter 4 vs. 1, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight.” He then makes it very clear what the root of the problem is; “You do not have, BECAUSE YOU DO NOT ASK GOD.”

When you think about it, it’s kinda ridiculous. Why am I unable to find God’s wisdom? BECAUSE I DON’T ASK FOR IT! Let me ask this… how many times in your life have you made decisions that would have been better if you’d let God make the decision? Lots, right? The thing is, God CAN and WILL give us the wisdom to make right choices… if we’re just willing to ask for it!

James then elaborates on what they ought to be doing. “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with the wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” Can you see why this whole concept is so radical? Similar to our salvation, gaining heavenly wisdom is NOT something we attain with hard work, or knowledge. If we desire to do good works for God that are motivated by HEAVENLY wisdom, then our only hope is to prayerfully and with the right heart ASK God for that wisdom.

You can see why this kind of wisdom breeds humility. It forces us to focus on God instead of ourselves. It forces us to rely on his providence and on his generosity. It forces us to be weak. It forces us to trust. It forces us; to have faith.

See, a lot of critics will say that James is focused on works. They look at James 2:17, which says that faith without works is dead, and they say, “Aha! One of the church leaders DOES believe that works are needed to get to heaven.” Looking at this passage, though, we see that it just isn’t so. James makes it very clear to us that to fulfill our need for humble, godly wisdom, we need to depend completely on God.

What does your life look like? I stated at the beginning that this passage is especially for those who would teach. What does your life teach to your kids? What does your life teach to your co-workers, or your friends, or your fellow church members? Does it display a humble wisdom whose only possible source is God? Or is it a flashy, show off kind of life, the kind that is always seeking to have what others have and to gain prestige for itself?

Let’s talk about application. How do I apply the lessons of this passage?

First, teach and do good deeds with the right motivation. Whether it be helping the church, your neighbors, your family and friends… serve God any way you can with your heart in the right place.

Second, be humble about your station in life, your skills and abilities, and the good things you do. Don’t allow yourself to become puffed up about things that were given to you by God in the first place.

Third, pray continually for God’s wisdom in your life. Seek his will in all things, study scripture, and learn from wiser Christians. Don’t allow yourself to rely on yourself.

Again, those three things we can learn are:
-Do good deeds with right motives
-Be humble
-Ask God for wisdom

It sounds simple, and perhaps it is, but it’s something I’d say we rarely do. Folks, we ought to continually be asking God for his wisdom in our lives, so that he can give us the ability to, as James says, “sow the seed whose FRUIT… is RIGHTEOUSNESS.” Let’s seek God together, so that we can relate to one another with wisdom, in a way that glorifies God in our church.


Today I was reading from a book called "The Pleasures of God", by John Piper. It's an excellent book, and one that I would highly recommend. I was struck by the concept of obediance... why do we as Christians find it important to obey? Many times, i think, we believe it's simply "the thing to do," or we do it because our parents taught us to. Some might even say that it's done out of thankfullness to God... I know that's how I used to describe it.

The more I think about it, though, the more I realize that can't be it. How is that enough? Is obediance seperate from salvation? Can you be saved without trying to live in obediance? This especially hit home for me when I thought about friends of mine who claimed to be Christians, but whose later actions showed that they didn't think a lifelong commitment to obediance was part of the deal.

Mr. Piper structured it well, I think. He suggested that obediance is an extension of faith. How can this be so? Well, consider the Pharisees. Their "obediance" to the law was unparralleled. Christ, however, didn't give them any credit whatsoever for those efforts. He pointed out that they didn't truly believe in God or have faith in his power. So, then, obediance without faith is clearly not good enough.

At the same time, faith without obediance is dead, and shouldn't even qualify as "faith". A life that does not reflect God's glory clearly does no good. If our Goal in life is to glorify God (and the bible is clear that it is), then the weakness and irrelevance of a disobediant life quickly becomes evident.

If someone TRULY has faith in God, they will be seeking to obey him because they trust him. Their faith is not an intellectual acknowledgement of the reality of God and the Gospel... the Bible says that even demons "believe" in God. Instead, the person who has faith recognizes their need for God, and learns to become dependent on him for their well being. Obediance is an extension of that faith... it is a TRUST. Following God's statues is a recognition of our need for his direction in our lives, and an acknowledgement that he knows what's best.

Samantha is going to be a nurse and Christy and Rachelle are going to be doctors, so I'll even put this in medical terms for their sakes. Imagine your relationship with your physician. He or she tells you to take a certain pill three times a day, get plenty of rest, and not eat any sweets.

Now imagine the reactions.

Isn't it sad to realize that most Christians SAY they believe in the doctor's skills, and sometimes even tell their friends what a great doctor he is... but they take the pills maybe once a day, maybe once a week. They argue for hours about how much rest is "plenty", and barely end up sleeping at all. They say, "I'll give up most sweets, but giving up my Hershey kisses is just TOO MUCH TO ASK. The doctor doesn't know what he's asking for." To top it all off, they tell other Christians that they are doing well, because they "intend" to follow the doctor's orders, "when they get around to it." Or they might take 4 pills in one day to make up for the 10 days they missed. Or they might go for an entire day without any sweets, and then be so proud of themselves that they gorge on chocolate the next day.

Doesn't that show a lack of trust/faith in the doctor? Don't you want to laugh and cry at the same time as you see this person question why they aren't healthy and active? Isn't it ridiculous how true this is of us?

The point is, GOD GIVES US RULES FOR A REASON. Those rules are designed to help us glorify God with our lives, and will also make us "happy and healthy" in the end. OBEDIANCE IS AN EXPRESSION OF OUR TRUST IN GOD. Do you believe that God knows what's best for you? Prove it. Obey him.

The nuttiest part about all this is that we don't have to do it alone. If we do, we can easily become like the Pharisees, puffed up with our own strong wills and having the wrong mindset. God tells us that to stive for and accomplish obediance, we can and must depend on him. He is willing to take our burdens if we only ask.

Sometimes people question why I care so little about school and so much about theology. I'll tell you why. I have a deep trust in my King. He knows what is best for my life, and so I'm going to do everything in my power to obey him, know him, and serve him better. At the end of the day, my life will have great meaning, not because of my own skill, but because of God's power working through me.

Question your own life. I know that I still have miles and miles to go. Do we REALLY trust that God knows what's best for us? Are we following his commands and asking him to help us do so, knowing that it will be better for us in the long run? Is Obediance an obligation, or a joyful trust?

Keep fighting, but don't forget to take time to gain perspective. Following God's laws can be a painful thing that you do because "you're supposed to", or it can be a joyful way of glorifying God by showing him that you trust his direction for your life.

And by the way... three more weeks and I'll be home!

Till next time.


Hello to one and all!

APPARENTLY I've been lax in relating late-breaking news in my life, so here's the quick breakdown.

A) I'm in love! Samantha Quan and I are "officially" courting. This means that we're pursuing a loving, God-centered relationship, with the purpose of finding out if He would have us marry each other. Sounds serious, huh? :-) We're being careful, though, and doing our best to be prudent with this phase of our lives. Our desire is that God is glorified in our lives, both individually and as a couple. PLEASE feel free to ask either of us any questions you may have. Our hope is that we can be a model (if an imperfect one) of a Godly relationship. We WANT to discuss it with you, so ask away! (p.s. feel free to call me in the evenings... I'd love to hear from you! (202) 257-3523)

B) Work is tough, but great. It's tedious, because I'm doing dumb jobs like filing, writing form letters, and copying when I'm used to doing in-depth analysis of tough philosophical concepts. Still, it's an interesting field, and I've gotten to meet cool people like Chuck Colson and several Congressmen.

C) Spiritually, things are going well. I've joined an excellent Baptist church, and am learning new theological concepts at a rapid rate. At the same time, God is working on my heart (with a little help from Samantha) to teach me a more merciful way of looking at the world. Samantha and I have also started praying together and discussing devotions together, which I think will benefit us both greatly.

D) Believe it or not, I'm actually teaching myself Latin! I'm not sure how well it will go, but we'll see.

E) DC is so fun! You guys are missing out. City life is the greatest!

Anyways, so that's where I'm at. Feel free to drop me a line or call me, cause it's not like I'm doing anything big!

As for this week's little nugget of Ben Bartlett philosophy + theology, consider this. How often do you feel like things are "out of control"? Do you wonder why God lets things become "too much"? I know I struggle with these things at times. Recently, though, I've been introduced to a hard but important concept. Because God is perfect, he cannot be deficient in any area.

What does that mean for me? It means that whatever happens, two things will always be true. First, God is completely sovereign. There is NOTHING over which he does not have complete control. Second, if he did anything less than the best it could possibly be done, handled anything worse than it could have been handled, then he would be deficient... and therefore, not perfect... and therefore, not God. That means that EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IS EXACTLY THE WAY GOD INTENDED IT TO BE.

At first, this is frustrating. You mean God INTENDED that my friend should die, my money should be stolen, my loved one should get cancer? Those questions, so full of bitter pain and sorrow, are hard. However, those same people can be comforted. God is on his throne, and he will not abandon you. He is orchestrating world events in such a way as to magnify his glory... and since we are fulfilled and satisfied when we glorify him, he is giving us the greatest gift we could possibly have at the same time. When God allows pain in your life he has his reasons. Do we understand them? Of course not. Who can completely understand and appreciate pain? Check out Samantha's blogspot, though; Oftentimes pain and hardship are necessary for growth and greater happiness.

So, then, take this with you. We serve a PERFECT God, and everything he does is completely good. We simply could not ask for a more trustworthy king... and as he is a trustworthy king, it is our duty to learn to have complete faith in his leading and complete obediance to his commands.

I love you guys, and miss your fellowship and smiling faces like you wouldn't believe.

Till next time.


I've been learning so many lessons recently from John Adams, second president of the United States. His life and his story inspire me because he is a fantastic example of what a single life can mean. Mr. Adams was not a genius, nor was he incredibly eloquent. He tended to be a little self-satisfied at times, and could be extremely blunt. Maybe that's why I learn so much from him... we're so similar!

Despite these things, though, Mr. Adams fought to contribute all that he could. As a strong Christian, he desired to present God with a life lived in fullest service to him. He aspired to greatness not to be remembered, but to be satisfied at a job well done. When finished, he didn't want to say to God, "I was the greatest proponent of the Declaration of Independence, I was the most vehemently against slavery of anyone in Congress, I was the originator of the ideas that eventually made up the Constitution, I was the second President of the United States, I taught my son in such a fashion that HE became President of the United States..." Instead, he gave an accounting that includes seeking to serve others, even when they said he was arrogant and out for himself. He pointed out that at every turn, he did the best that he knew how to do. He was prouder of his faithfulness to his wife than he was of the trade treaty he negotiated with France. Certainly, he had his weaknesses and failings. At the end of the day, though, he wanted glory for God more than he wanted it for himself.

Isn't this the kind of person we want to be? Value is found in virtue, and virtue founded in the unchanging, absolute principles of the Bible. Great men are those that seek to serve God with their talents, their resources, and their very lives. That may include politics, or it may include farming. Each is different. However, it is certain that a Christ-centered life is fulfilling, satisfying, and significant... all those things that the truly great man wishes for.

So each day, as I plod through meaningless constituent letters and copy newspaper articles, I need to see that if I am focused on that goal of serving God and not myself, anything I do will be significant, because contributions to God's kingdom are the only things that will have permanent value anyways.

Thanks for stopping by, and take a minute to e-mail me and let me know how you're doing. I love hearing from people!

Till next time.


Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.


Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.


Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!


1. My parents are in Ukraine.
2. My drunk housemates brought a bunch of girls over, and 12-13 people had a raucous party until 2 in the morning.
3. I still haven't connected with a Christian organization that I respect and want to be a part of.
4. I am the only serious Christian in the "zones" in which I operate each day.
5. I am worried about the results of this weekend's leadership retreat for CCF which I could not be at.

But you know what? I am content today, because God is faithful. His love doesn't change, which is a powerful thing. Despite the politicians, the reletivists, the weakness, the immorallity... his love and consistency are unshakeable. When I take the time to build off of that, and force myself to make him my starting point, I find that the world consistently embarasses itself in comparison to the creater of goodness and order. Dedicating your life to a cause isn't so hard of a thing when it is such a proven cause. I truly believe that nobody can KNOW what is true, nor can faith be enough. I believe that God calls us to make our decision WELL. A well-made decision carries both the power of logic and knowledge and the beauty of faith and hope. I look around and see the decadence of this city, and am appalled by it; but I do not fear for myself, because my foundation is one grounded both in faith and in knowledge. I love that God is so COMPLETE... he fulfills all that is good and rejects all that is evil, in its entirity. To top it off, this wonderful God cares about each soul in an individual way... in the midst of a world that is designed to make me weak, Lord, GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS.

To those who do not have this foundation, you're missing out. To those who do, be proud. Your joy should know no bounds, no matter your situation.

Till next time.


Hey Folks...

Here I am in DC! After a LONG and BORING vacation (punctuated by some wonderful highlights, thankfully), I am officially in DC and on my own. It's frustrating, I must say... despite the comfort of chatting on the phone, I really miss the emotional intimacy of relationships in CCF. Here, my fellow interns are hard-drinking womanizers... and I'm not exaggerating in the least. Still, I'm seeing the good in being here. Why?

For one thing, I'm all set for work. I still have a shot at the White House, but I've lined up an alternative even if I don't get it, so that's helpful. Congressman Rogers' office seems to like me a lot, since I know half the lobbyists in Michigan!

For another, DC is SOOOO fun. No homework, no classes, just lots of free time in my favorite city in the world. Believe it or not, today I walked over 6 miles round trip to get Vermacelli at Chinatown! Very cool, I know. It's so neat to be so close to all the sites; I'm across the street from the Heritage Foundation, 5 minutes walk from Union Station, and 10 minutes walk from the Capital. My house where I'm staying is well furnished. My room is the size of TWO MSU dorms, and I only have 1 roommate. Between the things the room came with and what my roommate and I brought, I have 3 lamps, a fridge, TV with cable, VCR, DVD, large windows, plenty of closet space, and a dresser. On top of all this, I'm already meeting people who are helping me "get to know" the town better.

Third, I've had a chance to get serious about some of my interests. I've been reading voraciously... including CS Lewis-Mere Christianity, Russell Kirk-The Roots of American Order, David McCollough-John Adams, a devotional with readings from some of the early church fathers, and of course the Bible. Not surprisingly, I'm seen as a bit of a geek (reads a lot, doesn't drink, isn't out to get laid, conservative, etc.) Still, I think that can be a good witness.

Finally, I think I'm starting to prove to myself that things will be ok in the end. I AM capable, I CAN surivive on my own without help from the 'rents, and I AM headed in the right direction. I've really been struck by some of my readings on John Adams, a guy who at age 20 was smart, ambitious, eloquent, loved reading, was a strong Christian, and was slightly arrogant... sound familiar? Even so, he struggled with whether he'd ever mean anything in life. Obviously, though, he went on to become one of the most important Founding Fathers that we had. I don't expect to reach those heights, but at least God is showing me that he can do plenty with me... I just need a little patience, surprise surprise.

Don't get me wrong... there are a lot of hard things about being here. I hate trying to cook and I'm sick of the loneliness and I'm tired of having to be careful about every detail of every relationship. I MISS CCF. Still, I think things are headed in the right direction. Keep praying for me... and feel free to call or e-mail! I really appreciate it when people take the time to call me... it lets me know that you want to stay in touch, and I'm willing to call you once in a while if you let me know you want it.

Well, I'm off to do some serious reading... have a great day!

Till next time.