11/06/2002

Oh dear. Well, clearly, my last blog was a bit of an overreaction. It wasn’t entirely off from how I feel these days, but thankfully some friends straightened me out and prompted me to clarify a few things.

A) Ok, emotion isn’t ALL bad. It’s still good to feel things, especially love, comfort, safety, and joy. It’s just important that I not let those things dictate how I respond to situations, and that I make sure my mind is the one making decisions, not my feelings.

B) It was pointed out that I sometimes claim to be excited about relationships that I’m building, but that I also complain about feeling left out or like I’m not wanted. This is a valid point. The explanation, I think, lies in the fact that I’m BUILDING these relationships. Sure, it’s exciting to be doing so… but to me, this should have been happening long ago, and it’s a point of frustration to feel like I’m just getting to know people I’ve known for two and a half years.

C) No, I’m not happy to be leaving CCF for a semester. In fact, to be honest, I’m having a tough time dealing with it. Though I may be frustrated with certain aspects at times, I really do love CCF and everyone in it. Leaving my “family” of the last two years is going to be tough. Thanks so much to all those who have patiently helped me admit to myself how much I love being a part of CCF.

D) I’m not giving up on CCF in any way, shape, or form. I committed myself to this group when I joined Core over becoming a leader at SCF, and that commitment stands until I graduate. I will not back down from it, nor would I want to.

Ok: That said, on to more recent events. First of all, the next two weeks are going to be nasty. A ten page paper due Monday, a revision on a 7 page paper due Tuesday, and a 7 page paper, a 2 page paper, and a 10 page paper all due Thursday of next week. Yipes! What craziness.

Also, I’m having significant struggles understanding natural law. I mean, I understand the concept easily enough, but I’m struggling to understand the relationship between God’s sovereignty and the truths of the world he designed. For instance, philosophers claim that natural law is a modern Tower of Babel, proving that we don’t need God. If we can design law in such a way that heavenly moral accountability is unneccessary, they argue, then an athiestic worldview is suddenly credible and, in fact, superior. The class that raises these questions is causing me to be much more serious than usual, as I am forced to simultaneously study the questions and philosophies that are put forth, ask my own questions and doubts of God and the Bible (without letting them know that I am doing so), and debate each point as it comes up from a Christian worldview. Whew! I love this stuff, but it’s really taking the wind out of me lately.

Finally, I’ve been learning to come to terms with the fact that I’m leaving, and have set out to enjoy relationships as much as possible before I leave. Enjoy it while you still can, right? To this end, I have decided to make relationships a higher priority than school. Oh, wait… I already do that!

I know I don’t have a comment box, but e-mails are better anyways, because then the whole world doesn’t know what you say to me. Skiboy983@aol.com, for those of you who have some form of constructive criticism or random encouragement.

Till next time.

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