In an earlier blog, I spoke of the qualities of an ideal woman. A large factor in my understanding of what that would look like was my belief that Christian women should seek men who are willing to simultaneously be leaders, servents, soldiers, and yes; champions. To me, the true measure of a champion is how they react when the pressure comes. The great-souled man is the one who shows up when common sense says that running or wimping out are the safest options.

Examples abound. Mike Bibby. Jimmy Connors. Joe Montana. Winston Churchill. Martin Luther. Moses. Paul.

Today’s hero has so much in common with yesterday’s that it’s ridiculous. Cool under pressure. Willing to take the heat. Willing to lay it all on the line. Willing, in the words of Kipling, to “risk it all in one turn of pitch-and-toss.” Confident in who he is. Prepared to lose, should things go in that direction, but not willing to give in even if they do.

Granted, the great man has more than simple gutsiness. Wisdom, intelligence, and consistency are also very key. Today’s discussion, though, centers on a man’s character. It focuses on the strength of Will that presses onwards despite pain, hardship, or frustration.

This champion must be willing to make the hard choices. He must choose character over popularity. He values a lonesome strength above comfort in weakness. He stands by principle before running away to the safety of pacification. His path is one that does not pass through popularity, or ease, or self-gratification. Rather, it passes through those things which bring true strength, true morality, true honor, and true quality.

Why am I discussing this topic? It is because I am facing a time in my life when I must make some hard decisions. I must choose between the path of the strong and of the weak. I must challenge convention. I must take issues to the next level. I must stop trying to untie the Gordion knot (kudos to whomever knows what that means) and instead be willing to chop it to pieces.

This is not a time for peacemakers, blessed though they may be. As Soloman says, “There is a time to tear apart and a time to sew together, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace.” Now is the time when once again, I must be willing to lay aside attainable desires to pursue true magnanimity.

Problems will come. They always do. And yet, loath though I may be to face those problems, I know facing them is for the best. As Seneca says, “If we are lashed and torn by Fortune, let us bear it; it is not cruelty but a struggle, and the oftener we engage in it, the stronger we shall be.” By taking on the very things which so many shy away from, I seek to become what so many wish to be.

Let it not be said of me that I backed off and was weak when strength was required. Let it not be said that my fear was greater than my boldness. Let it not be said that I did nothing.

I try to attain this standard, I think, not because of a desire for honor and glory, but rather because I want to offer it to God. I want a gift that is the best I can give, and no gift that I can offer is greater than this one. It is the best that I have, and is what he deserves to be offered.

I hope that my pursuit of this gift leads to others seeing God in me. I want to make the correlation obvious to them; God’s love in me is the reason that I seek to be this hero, this champion. I hope that one day, someone can look at me and say that because of God in my life, I match what Josiah Quincy said of the Founding Fathers;

“In difficult times, they conducted with wisdom; in doubtful times, with firmness; in perilous, with courage; under oppressive trials, erect; amid great temptations, unseduced; in the dark hour of danger, fearless; in the bright hour of prosperity, faithful.”

Will I be that man? Will I be able to someday offer God that gift? Only time will tell.

God does not have a Plan B.

Ok, everyone. I apologize. I realize that I’ve been pretty testy lately, and that my list of complaints seems not to have an end. I’m not usually a big fan of dumping my frustrations on people (ok, let’s be honest… I never give most of you the faintest clue of what’s going on in my life), but this past week I’ve been doing it all over the place. Quite frustrating.

God does not have a Plan B.

I think the reason for all this frustration, at the core, is my leaving for DC. I want SO BADLY to see people growing closer to God, and I worry a lot that my presence in CCF hasn’t fostered or encouraged that. At the same time, I’m sad to be leaving, and that can cause anyone to be a bit antsy. This isn’t to say that my whining is justified, but at least you see where I’m coming from.

God does not have a Plan B.

All this frustration has caused me to reevaluate. Why did I come to CCF? What am I doing here? Did I follow God’s will in being here, or am I wasting my time? Will anyone be able to look back and be glad that I was around? Do I exhibit even the slightest amount of Godliness or Christlkeness in my life?

God does not have a Plan B.

I was reminded, though, by several friends, that A) God is pleased with us not when we do what’s most effective, but when we follow him with everything we’ve got, and B) God IS fulflling his purpose in my life. I won’t always know the reasons for the weird things that happen, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t in control. Samantha said it best;

“God doesn’t have a Plan B.”

This simple phrase says so much. It says we shouldn’t worry. It says God is in complete control. It says he’s accomplishing what he wants to accomplish in your life. It says that no matter what happens, he was aware of it ahead of time and has planned accordingly. It says that we are exactly what he wants. It says he loves us. It says that the more we live a life that is focused on him and him alone, the greater our chance of hearing him say, “Well done, thou good and faithful servant.”

So what about you? Are you frustrated, sick of school, and confused about where God wants you? Worried about your future (come tell me, we’ll drown our sorrows in multiple cups of coffee)? Tired of trying?

God asks only that we love him with all our heart, all our soul, and all our mind. After that, he requires that we love others as we love ourselves. Nothing else will please him as much. Not school, not accomplishment, not even making the most effective or impactful decisions. God loves us completely, and knows what he wants for us.

And he does NOT have a Plan B.

Oh dear. Well, clearly, my last blog was a bit of an overreaction. It wasn’t entirely off from how I feel these days, but thankfully some friends straightened me out and prompted me to clarify a few things.

A) Ok, emotion isn’t ALL bad. It’s still good to feel things, especially love, comfort, safety, and joy. It’s just important that I not let those things dictate how I respond to situations, and that I make sure my mind is the one making decisions, not my feelings.

B) It was pointed out that I sometimes claim to be excited about relationships that I’m building, but that I also complain about feeling left out or like I’m not wanted. This is a valid point. The explanation, I think, lies in the fact that I’m BUILDING these relationships. Sure, it’s exciting to be doing so… but to me, this should have been happening long ago, and it’s a point of frustration to feel like I’m just getting to know people I’ve known for two and a half years.

C) No, I’m not happy to be leaving CCF for a semester. In fact, to be honest, I’m having a tough time dealing with it. Though I may be frustrated with certain aspects at times, I really do love CCF and everyone in it. Leaving my “family” of the last two years is going to be tough. Thanks so much to all those who have patiently helped me admit to myself how much I love being a part of CCF.

D) I’m not giving up on CCF in any way, shape, or form. I committed myself to this group when I joined Core over becoming a leader at SCF, and that commitment stands until I graduate. I will not back down from it, nor would I want to.

Ok: That said, on to more recent events. First of all, the next two weeks are going to be nasty. A ten page paper due Monday, a revision on a 7 page paper due Tuesday, and a 7 page paper, a 2 page paper, and a 10 page paper all due Thursday of next week. Yipes! What craziness.

Also, I’m having significant struggles understanding natural law. I mean, I understand the concept easily enough, but I’m struggling to understand the relationship between God’s sovereignty and the truths of the world he designed. For instance, philosophers claim that natural law is a modern Tower of Babel, proving that we don’t need God. If we can design law in such a way that heavenly moral accountability is unneccessary, they argue, then an athiestic worldview is suddenly credible and, in fact, superior. The class that raises these questions is causing me to be much more serious than usual, as I am forced to simultaneously study the questions and philosophies that are put forth, ask my own questions and doubts of God and the Bible (without letting them know that I am doing so), and debate each point as it comes up from a Christian worldview. Whew! I love this stuff, but it’s really taking the wind out of me lately.

Finally, I’ve been learning to come to terms with the fact that I’m leaving, and have set out to enjoy relationships as much as possible before I leave. Enjoy it while you still can, right? To this end, I have decided to make relationships a higher priority than school. Oh, wait… I already do that!

I know I don’t have a comment box, but e-mails are better anyways, because then the whole world doesn’t know what you say to me. Skiboy983@aol.com, for those of you who have some form of constructive criticism or random encouragement.

Till next time.