10/15/2002

Well, it’s been a while since I’ve written in this blog, and I apologize. Consistency is not my strong point, to be sure! I’m sure those of you who don’t speak with me regularly are at least somewhat interested in the events of the past two weeks, and even those who have spoken with me are a tad curious as to what’s going on in my life. For those of you who aren’t, well, I don’t blame you. But why then are you reading this, anyway?

The parting of ways between Carrie and myself has gone quite smoothly. I think she recognizes, as I did, that this move is the best for us. Further, she is thoroughly enjoying teasing me about her newfound freedom. Yes, we are still on good terms. In fact, last night was her birthday, and though I didn’t get a chance to talk to her, I at least remembered to call, which is impressive for me!

Being in God’s will is something that is definitely hard, but just as definitely rewarding. Already these past two weeks God has blessed my decision about my relationship by;

1) Maintaining a strong and appreciative relationship between Carrie and myself.
2) Using this situation to open doors to better relationships with friends in CCF.
3) Made me seem more vulnerable and accessible to people who may otherwise feel that I am distant and unreachable.
4) Given opportunities to teach others about the benefits of a relationship focused on God.
5) Helped me refocus my priorities.

This isn’t to say that things are always peachy-keen when you make a good decision, cause that isn’t how it is. However, it’s great to be in a place where you aren’t constantly beating on yourself for decisions you’ve made.

So, thanks so much to all who have expressed sympathy in the past couple weeks. It’s meant the world to me to build better relationships with you, learn more about each other, and grow closer together and towards God. I’ve always missed that at CCF, and I’m glad people finally are starting to regard me as just another weak human at the foot of the cross, which is really all that I am.

Now, on to this week’s issue; how do you find adventure in everyday life?

See, I really agree with John Eldredge in that men need to life an adventure. We crave the excitement, the challenge, and the struggle of pitting yourself against the odds and emerging victorious. As Vince Lombardi once said, “A man can be as great as he wants to be. If you believe in yourself and have the courage, the determination, the dedication, the competitive drive and if you are willing to sacrifice the little things in life and pay the price for the things that are worthwhile, it can be done."

Unfortunately, though, I’ve lost this sense of adventure in recent weeks. Instead of feeling like a warrior in a great quest, I’ve felt like an accountant at the IRS. Instead of being ready to take on the world, I’m reluctant to take on each new day (and yes, I AM thankful for the day, cheap junk).

Generally, movies that inspire me (and many men) tend to show the hero as a strong, fearless character, one who faces his world with purpose and resolve. He is unbending in the face of evil, and his character and integrity are beyond question. Again referring to Mr. Eldredge, I believe God gives us appreciation for those qualities because they are a major part of what he wants us to be. Of course we appreciate characters like Aragorn, Luke Skywalker, Marcus Aurelius (Gladiator), Rocky, and William Wallace. They embody everything that God has designed us for!

The problem, of course, is that our adventures are quite different. Our purpose is not as clear. Our paths are not as obvious. Our skills are certainly far different (can you see me trying to wield a 5 foot sword? I didn’t think so).

So then, where to find adventure and challenge in the life we lead?

Personally, my adventures have always been clear; through high school, it was a combination of sports and ministry. Serving God and training myself physically were full of excitement and challenge. My first year of college, too, was exciting as I began to find my own way and become my own person. Even my sophomore year was an adventure, making leaps and bounds spiritually and enjoying being back in a leadership role. Through these two years, I was also involved with Carrie, an adventure in and of itself.

This year, though, the luster is gone. I’ve been through dorm life, apartment life, the workforce, classes full of debate and philosophy, and teaching lessons. I know what it is to be a leader (not to say I’ve “arrived”, but neither is it a new thing). I mean, imagine if Lord of the Rings was about the Fellowship walking in circles through the Mines of Moria over and over again. The movie would get boring real quick!

I have full confidence that God is trying to teach me something. I see his hand in so many places (especially financially, but that’s a story in itself!). I’m excited about the terrific relationships I’m building lately. Despite all this, though, I can’t help but wish I was doing something big, something purposeful. Perhaps the Revolution will help that, but even then it’s all about reaching out to a few people and reeling them in, instead of the great challenges that I seek.

At the end of the day (note: there are rumors going around that Lindsay has begun using this phrase, can anyone confirm? Jared and I love hearing our own phrases repeated back to us! Hearing people say CHEAP JUNK always makes my day) my best guess would be that God wants me to learn to be faithful in the boring and often frustrating times as well. It can’t all be fun and games! In a Star Wars book I once read, a senator points out to Luke that while he had been running around having fun and killing bad guys, his sister had been slowly helping build a government through blood, sweat, and tears, a painstaking process requiring discipline and strength of character. The senator then suggested that Luke needed to learn a little of that. I think that may be where God is taking me. “Learn to love me even when it’s boring and frustrating, Ben, and then you can go to DC.” Let’s hope that’s the case.

Pray for me, reader! My small group is dealing with predestination on Wed, and I want it to go well.

BTW, John Wong is probably one of the funniest creatures ever to set foot on God’s green earth. All males MUST read ALL his blog entries, you will die laughing. Girls, I would suggest against it, but would be blown away if your curiosity didn’t get the better of you.

http://www.lauhowsui.blogspot.com/

Till next time.

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