I struggle with weakness.
Today I realized a couple of things that are hard for me:
1) I do not do things that are "originally" strong.
2) I am professionally unimpressive.
3) I am constantly afraid.
4) I am embarrassed to be me.
I plan on writing more about these individually soon. There's a lot to them, and it's disheartening to do it all at once. I'm really scared about this period of meditation; I am quite sure I don't like the things I am finding out and trying to admit to myself. Still, I trust it is for the best in the end.
8/12/2005
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